Monday, June 23, 2014 @ 10:53 AM
STRESS.
Don't ever get deceive by my smile or cheerfulness.
Before I accepts the position, it takes me quite long to decide. Till now, I thinks that I accept it too rash. Up till now, I don't feel any happiness but stress. I don't feel happy when my news is being spread because that also means more eyes on me and I hate that when my skills is not up yet. People thinks is ok or alright, just take it as a challenge. I tried to make it a proud and happy thing yet at the same time, I don't think I did a great job. I hate people put their eyes and HIGH expectations on me. I feel unfair when people thinks that I can do it just because I get this position. Higher Position means doing a Better Job and More Things? Yeah, I guess so then. This is reality and I got to force myself to accept it. Because accepting it to make others feel better yet no one knows how unwilling I am.